With a team of four we decided to run around the Monte Rosa Massif, covering a distance of 170km and 11,000m ascent in 6 days. We battled extreme weather conditions, detours due to landslides, hypothermia, sickness and injuries. We worked as a team and were determined to finish together. This is our journey, part 5/6 from Europahut to Zermatt.

Thursday August 6,

While the others are busy packing their bags, getting ready for another day on the trails, I need a moment to myself. As I stand alone on the balcony of our hotel apartment, looking out on the mountains where we have run everyday for the past four days, I am not feeling the joy and excitement of going out for another day. I wish desperately to continue, but a little voice inside my head is telling me to stop…

I am trying to understand my own thoughts and feelings. “Have I lost faith? Is my mind playing tricks on me? Am I trying to find an excuse to stop or should I take this problem seriously?” I can not differentiate between what I am feeling or what I am thinking. “Am I listening to fear and pain or are these rational thoughts?”

A thought that had never crossed my mind, now did two days in a row: “Should I quit?” Here it is again, like a dark cloud hovering above my head, and I can not escape from it.

When I ran through the dessert, from Dubai to Oman December 2018, and my ankles had swollen up so badly, making me run the last thirty kilometres with excruciating pain, even then, the thought of quitting never crossed my mind. Now, I am not even really injured. Yes, my toes are swollen, red and hurt, but they are not bad enough that I can not continue. I’ve been in worse pain than this.

But here I am, standing and looking out on to the mountains that usually give me so much joy, feeling defeated.

“alone, while the three of them continue”

Last night when we arrived in the apartment and I took my shoes off, I was shocked. I had not given it much thought over the past days, but my toe condition had not changed for the better. I knew my toes were still swollen and causing me pain, but now they seemed to have got worse. I poke wholes in the swollen areas with a needle. Like I am deflating a blister, but the fluid that comes out is not clear. I worry it is infected. If so, that could cause bigger problems. But, we only have two more days to go. “Could I not suck it up and continue for a little longer?”

Then there is another issue to deal with. I have received a message that I am not allowed to continue running on the sample shoes I have been wearing for the past few days. The samples might still be needed for photoshoots and the product manager is on holiday so they can not get someone to sign off on it. This means I have to continue running in shoes that are one size too small, which caused me this problem in the first place.

I am okay feeling pain. I am okay being tired and running, but not while I am not sure if I am making myself ill or causing permanent damage. And for what? The rational thing to do is to see a doctor and buy new trainers in Zermatt.

I go back into the apartment, but no-one is there. Straight away I am confronted with the decision I had made. Here I am standing alone, while the three of them continue…

OUR MOMENT OF FAME

Nils, Christof and Karen have already gone down for breakfast. Upon arrival the lady at reception, the owner of the hotel I assume, had asked Karen if she is feeling better today. The same lady was there when we arrived last night. Although we had not said much to her, we must have looked pretty tired for her to ask Karen this question.

I grab some coffee and my usual yoghurt with cereal and a croissant with Nutella from the breakfast buffet, and sit down at the empty seat next to Nils, with Karen and Christof on the opposite side of the table. Karen goes to get more food from the buffet and when she comes back, she mentions have made a name for ourselves.

Two men, who are also doing the Tour Monte Rosa and staying in this same hotel, asked Karen about our trip. When Karen explains our plan of running the route in six days, they are even more impressed than they already were. Apparently we have passed them on the trails on our way down. “Impressive”, is what they thought of it. The two men are taking their time and hoping to do the trails in about nine days and wish us luck on the remaining of our trip.

At the table, we discuss the stage of the day. As we had to differ from our original plan due to road blocks and landslides, Christof has come up with a new route. Instead of the original twenty kilometres and 800m ascent, the alternative route will have 2000m of ascent. For what we had considered an easy day, it has got considerably less easy. I feel a little bit better about my decision to skip this stage.

THE LAST CHANCE

We take a bus and train to get back to the trail. With a few stops, the train goes straight to Zermatt, the final destination of our stage. The start of the stage is s in a town called Randa, two stops before arriving in Zermatt. Christof, Karen and Nils get up to leave the train. This is my last chance to go with them.

I had already made an appointment with the doctor in Zermatt and had told the guys I would skip this stage, but for a moment I am thinking about leaving the train with them. As the train doors close behind them, I am still in my seat. I don’t see if they look back to wave goodbye. I sit, staring at the rucksack in my lap, trying not to cry. Deep down I know this is the right decision for me.

Only today I have the option to see the doctor and skip a stage. If I can’t run tomorrow, I will have a bigger problem. “How would I go back to Italy?” Today’s stage is small and unimportant. We even called it another rest day. Tomorrow is our final day over the glacier. That is the one that counts. “It is okay to sit this one out”, I try to convince myself.

My rucksack is heavier than usual. The guys have given me the items they don’t need on the trail. Only my bag of sweets and M&M’s is going with them. Since a few days now, Karen has become more and more tired, but as long as she can taste the sweets in her mouth, she is fine, she told me.

TOUGH TIMES ON THE TRAILS

The trail is tougher than expected. Although being relatively short, the additional ascent comes in a very short section of the trail. The climb is the steepest so far. Where Karen usually is in front on the uphill, today she falls behind. She struggles through, but we can tell it is not going well.

Only after coming back, we find out she had been suffering from an iron deficiency. Something that is not uncommon for female endurance athletes. Low iron levels and can make you really tired and impact your performance. Personally, I get my iron levels checked twice a year and take daily iron tablets for this reasons. A low iron level can be caused by high volumes of exercise, dehydration or a lack of iron in a diet. 

MEANWHILE IN ZERMATT... 

While Karen, Nils and Christof have just started their run, I arrive in Zermatt train station. I have just enough time to see the sports store before my doctor’s appointment. I check two stores but quickly it is clear there are no ASICS shoes to be found in Zermatt. Andy, who is also in Zermatt, has another brand trainers for me in his car. That is my alternative. I will meet him after my doctor’s appointment and will ask him about it. 

Waiting in the doctor’s office I am really nervous. I usually am with these type of things. Now I am tired, it is even worse. My mouth is dry and I finish half a litre of water in one go. I think about the sweets I had given to Karen this morning and how I could use a few of those, to keep me from fainting. As I am pretty sure, I will faint when the doctor is going to put a needle through my toenail to let the fluid out. At least that is what I am expecting him to do. When the doctor finally arrives I am half a sleep on his desk.

He quickly assures me that the fluid is located around the nail, so it won’t help to poke a needle through. I breathe a little sigh of relief. I might not faint today after all. The doctor explains that with every step my toe touches the shoe and this will aggravate the problem. He advises me to take two weeks rest. I tell him we have one stage left of about thirty two kilometres. “About forty thousand steps?!” He replies. Probably more, I think. “Make sure to be able to call for help, if the pain get’s too bad.” That last sentence resonates with me for a while, while I step outside the doctor’s office.

Now the decision is made, I look forward to check in to the hostel, relax, recharge and take care of my feet. I might squeeze in a nap, to catch up on all of the sleep I have been missing, before meeting Andy for a quick photoshoot. Our next stage, stage 6, promises to be very tough. We will be running on high altitude, over a glacier, and a lot of distance to cover. I want to make sure I am ready for it by taking the necessary rest. When I call Andy to check when and where to meet up, he is already on his way to the lift. So, I guess I will have to postpone my plan to relax until later.

I meet Andy on the bottom of the lift that brings us up the mountain where we will meet the rest for the photoshoot. I am still in long tights carrying my heavy pack around. I change into shorts and follow Andy on the trail. I have taken out the insoles of my Fujitrabuco Sky’s to make more space for my toes. As long as I do not run down, it feels okay. I wonder how far we are going. Every step aggravates my toes and is one too many, according to the doctor. I thought we would stay close to the lift, wait for the guys, take a few photos and turn back down. A few hours at the most. Quickly I realise it is going to be a long day with more hiking and running than I had anticipated.

WE MEET AGAIN

It is almost two o’clock and I have not eaten yet. I eat the two protein bars I bought earlier in the pharmacy, together with more pain killers, tape and some other stuff we needed. I had planned to take the protein bars with me during our long stage tomorrow, but I need to eat something now. I also finish the small amount of water I have left, hoping we will pass a place soon where I can refill my bottles. Unfortunately that occasion did not come until a few hours later.

Andy has spot some great locations to shoot, when we realise we are on the wrong side of the mountain. We go back down and up again to get us on the right trail. “They should be coming from there… or maybe the high trail over there.” We are not completely sure where the rest of the team will come from, so we decide to wait on a section where we could see both trails. Personally, I am happy with the break and sit myself down on a rock on the side of the trail, and wait.

“Not bad for an ’easy’ day"

Meanwhile hikers of the Tour Monte Rosa trail are passing by. One couple asks Andy to take a picture of them with their phone. Little did they know, they asked a professional photographer. They had not spot his camera but soon got to understand they have asked someone who takes photography very seriously. “Around the corner you have a better view.” “Just a little more to the right, to catch the best light.” After about ten minutes Andy lets the couple go, with what I assume would be some amazing pictures of them with a beautiful mountain back drop, shot horizontally and vertically, of course.

We wait and wait… It is around three o’clock and we had expected them to be here by now. I start to get worried that we have missed them or that we are on the wrong trail. But suddenly, we see some familiar faces appear around the corner. “That is them!” There had been another detour, Christof explains. Fortunately this time, they noticed before climbing up the mountain and stayed on a lower route that led them to us. Twenty kilometres and 1,600m ascent. Not bad for an ’easy’ day.

DONE OR NOT

Now it is Andy’s turn and he is excited about taking the photos he has in mind. He has spot some really nice places to shoot along the way. We run for the camera, one by one and as a group, while slowly making our way back down. After a few shots, Karen decides to run ahead and leave to go to the hostel. She is still having a bad day and not feeling well. We agree she needs to rest and we will join her later for dinner.

“The evening light is the best”, says Andy. “Is he really thinking we are staying out here that late?” He mentions that the last supermarket in Zermatt closes at nine. I guess that’s his way of saying we can stay out here for a bit longer.

It worries me. The new pair of trainers are in Andy’s car, which is parked in the next town and can only be reached by train. Fortunately we receive salvation by the means of a text message, saying I can continue to run on what have now become my favourite trainers - the sample shoes launching January 2021 -. I could not be happier and Andy is too. We continue to shoot.

"We are running on adrenaline"

Just when we think we are almost done, or at least we feel ‘done’. Andy decides it is time to go to the other side of the mountain, where he and I started hiking up earlier this day. Andy is in his element and full of energy. We have been running for five days already and start to feel the tiredness, but we decide to continue for just a little longer.

Then Andy spots a ridge and asks Christof if he can run that. Christof gives it a try and runs down this stunning but technical and steep ridge, dust chasing him as he goes. I skip this part, as I don’t want to risk anything. Not now, not for a photo. But Andy is buzzing! All of a sudden he is squealing and yelping. Noises we had not heard from him before. “This must be good!” The light at this moment is amazing, creating beautiful silhouettes in various dark blue shades. On the easier parts of the trail I join in, knowing we are creating some epic shots. We completely forget about the time or how tired we are. We are running on adrenaline. All four of us.

In the end, it was worth the extra hours and energy. “Who needs rest anyway?” The pictures of that evening turn out to be spectacular! One of the shots from that evening will definitely go up on my wall at home. Symbolically ‘up there’ next to the picture of running in Dubai.

At nine o’clock it has become too dark to continue to shoot and we head back down. The lift, Andy and I took up, is not running anymore this late in the evening. We run and hike down the seven hundred meters of decent. Meanwhile my quads have started to give me trouble. Nils mentions I should try walking backwards. Even though it is pretty awkward not seeing the trail, it does help. Obviously I can not go down the whole trail running backwards. With the help from my poles, leaning heavily on them to take pressure off my legs, we arrive in town, where Karen has been waiting for us in the restaurant for over an hour.

We order pizza. I always leave the crusts on my plate and I notice Nils staring at them. “You can have them if you like.” They are gone before I know it, but clearly that is not enough. The men at our table order another pizza to share. Meanwhile Andy tells me we have covered twenty three kilometres this day. Although I missed the stage, it is comforting to know I have still covered the distance. I guess, I did not cheat after all.

Content and fulfilled, we all go to bed. On to see another day on the trails…